now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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