I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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