So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
be right there i have to get my cape
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