That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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