grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
