Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
