I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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