eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
