You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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