Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
