and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
