I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
