Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
