end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
