Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
