and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
