Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
my liver is dry heaving
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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