i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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