Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So squirting runs in the family.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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