When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
