tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
