Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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