Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
