they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
