I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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