The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
bring money and cleavage
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
