i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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