i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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