so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Boobs are out for the taking
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
