Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sobbing to NWA
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize