you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
