Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
