Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
