I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
