Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
