just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
