Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
