Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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