my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
