; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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