covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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