turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize