When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
