If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize