It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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