I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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