I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
