Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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