i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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