He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
