Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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