I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
