Got a toothbrush?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
