Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
