With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
