Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
