Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
