Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
