If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it glows. i had to have it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
