I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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