I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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