Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I look better un-naked...
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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