Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
